Marked (Soul Guardians, #1) - Kim Richardson

No, monkey, NO! Do NOT mislead the readers!

I give up. If you asked me whether gauging my eyes out with a spoon would be less painful than the thought of finishing this book, I'd be inclined to agree.

Well, not really. But still.

I read 50% of this book, and I can't read any longer. This book is just bad. Badly plotted, badly written, and just plain bad. The dialogue is immature, and the story is stagnant. The concept is inoffensive yet unoriginal: A girl dies and is recruited to become a guardian angel (GA). Her main job is to save the lives of people who will be killed, and if she fails (which she does two out of two times, up until I read), she must fight off demons that try to eat the souls of the dead. Her Petty Officer and direct superior is David, a handsome guy who...er...wait, I think that's all there is to him. David's good lookin' and the girl, Kara, well, she's just there.

At best, every single character is a caricature of YA Mary/Gary Sues, from Kara's insufficiently pretty face that despite its normalness lands a "hottie" like David in the afterlife, to David's insufferable arrogance that is supposed to come off as charming but fails. Even the monkeys that run the elevators are mean-spirited creatures that attack you solely to eat...dead bits of scalp...from your head.

Barf.

I'll end this review with a few choice quotes that convinced me to power down my Kindle and say Bon Voyage, Book:

"I wonder what is going on in his head. How can he risk the lives of other angels?" [asks Kara]
"'Cause he's a douche bag." [answers badass David]

They [pretty girls at the club] all gave Kara the what-are-you-doing-with-such-a-hottie look. And when David wasn't looking, Kara whirled around and gave them the finger--followed by the biggest smile she could muster.


Good riddance. 1 star, and perfect for those looking for a book on How to Write Bad Modern Young Adult Protagonists.